Triggers – Photographs and Memories
Updated: Jan 7
The late Jim Croce recorded a song – “Photographs and Memories”.
“Photographs and memories, Christmas cards you sent to me, All that I have are these, To remember you…”
Yesterday, was Terry’s birthday. This Sunday is our 46th Wedding Anniversary. Next Tuesday is the 10th month since she was given her wings.
Sitting next to my dining room table is a bin full of photographs that I still have not gone through yet. I did spend a couple of days this past week sorting through some of them and scanning them into the computer. Boy, did those moments bring back memories.
Photographs of her before we met. Photographs of us when we first started dating. Photographs of us and our children, and us and our grands. Photographs of our friends, and happy times with them as we experienced our time together.
And, oh the memories!! Good times, fun times, hard times, laughing times, playing with our kids and grandkids. All that I have are these to remember her by.
While it was hard, I am glad I can do this. To bring back to the top of my thoughts those times that we had only serve to keep her alive even more in my heart.
Then, yesterday on her birthday, I received a package from Terry’s friend she grew up with in school. This “birthday gift” from Yvette is AWESOME! In it, Yvette tells a bit of the story of her and Terry in school. It provides so much information and insight into my sweetie. It also provides a source for a lot of tears. If you wish to read this, you can view/download from this link (click here).
Herb Knoll has published a book, “The Widower's Journey”. This is an awesome resource for widowers as we travel this new journey that is before us. In Chapter 2, he states “When we meet and fall in love, and when that love deepens over the years, our brains are wonderfully rewired”… “Then, with the loss, the wiring that leads to so many good feelings becomes a series of paths to pain”… “But grief also spurs us to seek new sources of happiness in our lives, so in that sense grief serves a useful purpose. So in our journey to recovery, think of grief and other emotions as our personal compasses pointing us to what we need to move forward.”
Photographs and Memories… even though painful, these times of remembering help me move forward with my own life.
Over the past 1o months, I have taken on several projects that allow me to move forward. Projects that preserve the photographs and memories of my sweetie. From planning her memorial services (and conducting them), to creating a memorial for her, to scanning photographs, talking to her friends to learn more about her, to writing this blog. All of these projects (and more) help me, by keeping the memories alive and me centered in my spirit, by giving me something to do in this new journey, and helping to acknowledge how deep and personal was our love. The depth of which has become a measure of how deep my grief is for losing her – but how magnificent it will be when we are rejoined in the coming of our Lord.
As you read this, I would love to hear from you. What helps you move forward in your grief? What are some of the photographs or memories that help you keep alive? Send me a note, post on my Facebook page, let’s start a dialogue.